Weekend beach.

August 24, 2008 | Archive

 

 

 

Are you having phone sex while driving?

Since July 1st of this year, California has had some new laws about driving and talking on cell phones. We were behind many other states that have had similar laws in effect for years. I believe our new laws are a good thing but they could use some work—and some enforcement.

Right now you can still text message while driving but cannot talk on the phone with out a headset. Um, okay. Doesn't text messaging take your eyes away from the road more? What idiot let this through?

It's only now that we are riding two-wheeled vehicles that we both notice how inconsiderate and insane people drive, whether on the phone or not. We really have to ride like everyone is trying to kill us. Even the considerate ones are still in 3000 pound machines and can often have lapses in judgment.

I had the day off today and rode the scooter to several locations including Sunset Beach. It was such a nice drive in beautiful weather. I feel so relaxed now...releaxed enough to get my head around purchasing a gun that I can keep in the scooter to shoot out the tires of the cars of stupid people who are texting while driving in front of me and swerving all over the road. Ugh!

August 22, 2008 | Archive

 

 

 

Sticks and stones. (203)

When I was younger—probably no older than six years old—I distinctly remember a time when I had to poo really bad. And I remember distinctly that it hurt coming out.

I also remember feeling the pressure to relieve myself quickly as my mom and dad were ready to go, to leave for our own house, but I was in the bathroom in pain and I was certain they were going to leave without me.

I know I was probably not on the toilet as long as I thought I was then, but it did seem like an eternity to my young mind (and ass). I pushed and I pushed, so stressed to get it out before the parents got upset that I was taking so long. My grandmother actually came into the bathroom at one point and asked if I were okay and I said, "It feels like there's pins in it!"

It totally felt like I was pooing out pins or needles; it was that painful. I swear, my kid turds were coming out sideways. It's a memory I've had since that day, a funny memory. Poo is funny.

And I thought of this today as I sat on the toilet and had to deal with a poo that felt like I had munched on a diet of twigs and rocks for the last week. Damn it hurt.

August 21, 2008 | Archive

 

 

 

I saw...

Artist, El Cajon Blvd, San Diego.

August 16, 2008 | Archive

 

 

 

Yeah, shut the hell up!

And poor, cute little kitty: I'm quite sure all the new Asians and Russians have taken care of kitty by now. With rice and Stoli.

August 15, 2008 | Archive

 

 

 

Instinktually, you would, too.

With summer comes many costume changes, and in turn creates a lot of dirty laundry, at least for me as I sweat something fierce. Randy, bless his heart, does our laundry, a chore I despise, especially as I've been doing laundry for my family and myself since I was ten. I'm just over it. Strange that I don't mind putting it away, but the actual act of sorting and laundering makes me bleed internally.

Since I am tall with long arms, it's often hard to find correct-fitting tee and dress shirts of any brand or kind. I have learned to launder my own shirts because of this: It's generally never the shoulder areas that shrink but sleeves and shirt length. If they go into the dyer they'll come out shrunk just enough to become too short for me to wear without looking as if I'm sporting halter tops (and I've stopped wearing those in 1996).

Randy's reaction, although I know that for the most part he is being silly, is one accompanied with a sad pouty face. "You don't trust me to do them?" he says every time. Of course I trust him but when together we have seven or eight loads to wash, it's much easier for me to wash and watch all my shirts myself.

I have so far not bought any new, good clothes this summer as I'm still/constantly/forever working on losing some weight. (Once I lose the weight I've gained I'll have an entire wardrobe waiting for me in the closet!) The only new garments so far this season have been the new, white undies Randy bought me just recently. As a gay man, I DO like underwear, but don't really pay much attention anymore to the style or age as I'm married: underwear is either on under my (too tight) clothes, or off. That's it. Maybe someday soon I'll feel sexy enough to try something, well, sexy.

So today, I did laundry, or more specifically my collection of dirty shirts and a few other items. A half hour after putting them in the washing machine I went to retrieve it all, first the dry towels, then back to get all my shirts so I could hang dry them. I draped them all over one arm and climbed the stairs, down the hallways to our front door.

Closer to our apartment I saw bright, white new-looking underwear on ground. Crap, I thought...I must have dropped it taking the first load back? Or, did I drop them on the way to be washed?

Instinctually, I picked them up and sniffed them, quickly. It was an act that I didn't think through, something that guys just do, right? Maybe I got it from my father. Whatever the reason, I smelled my underwear.

Ah, okay, need to be washed..not gross but also can't smell the fabric softener...

In our apartment, I threw down the underwear and began hanging my shirts to dry. And then I had a thought, something so horrid...

...I turned to pick up the new, white underwear sitting on our floor and peered at the tag in the back. Sized 44-46.

They weren't mine.

August 14, 2008 | Archive

 

 

 

iThink it's so stupid!

What's with the proliferation of so many new products and so many new services having their names begin with "i"?

The iPod name, as well as the iMac name, are registered tradmarks of Apple. However, it seems anyone can register any other name with a lower (or upper) case letter "i' in front of it. There is no intelIectual property patent restriction on the idea or use of the letter "i" on a product or service name (yet, unless Donald Trump thinks of it...)

I get the iPod and iMac, but everything else now? Is there no creativity out there, others have to jump on the iBandwagon? I see this everywhere and although I'm an Apple product fan, I'm not fanatic enough to have it bother me so much to actually, seriously blog about how stupid it is for everyone to copy the moniker idea (although, yeah, that's the title of this post...how stupid it is...)

So instead of making a list of all the current products that use the "i" moniker (as I was going to do and actually had begun such a list), I've decided I'm just going to start and patent a line of "sexual enhancement devices" with "i" names. Sex sells, right? I am hoping to sell millions of these devices an accessories and in turn make us rich so we can retire into a fancy condominium. With TWO whole bedrooms.

>iCame: And then you'll need to clean it up, too
>iFuckedMe: A dildo molded after your own cock or fingers
>iFuckedMeGood: A giant fist
>iSnatch: Like a Lee Press-on but for trannies
>iPood: A bio-hazzard clean-up kit for those into scat
>iShrimp: A manicure case for the toe-sucking afficianado
>iRing: The one ring to rule your dick...and hold erections
>iFlog: Because you might be into whippings
>iManageATrois: A checklist of things you want in a couple
>iEnhanceMyCock: Why not just tell everyone you're small?
>iTripleOrgasmed: ...and I'm so dehydrated.

August 10, 2008 | Archive

 

 

 

"Mother, turn the cooling unit back on. . .Mother!" (203.5)

Summer, I think most of the world can agree, has definitely arrived. Yeah, in our part of the world, it could be worse: There's no flash floods, tornadoes, 100 percent humidity, overuse of polyester material (well, maybe in the east county), or swarms of mosquitoes.

Except for the occasional earthquake, the overall climate and livability has so far been pretty wonderful—the past months of warmer weather have not really been that warm...until lately when, sitting at two running computers for eight plus hours a day with no air conditioning, just makes me melt. We've had some unseasonal humidity as well and since I'm covered in yak fur, well, it makes for a lovely day, really. I find myself changing clothes quite a few times in a 24 hour period.

Again, sure: We've got it good here. It could be worse. Unfortunately the warm weather and a combination of many events has made me all cranky lately and I'm losing my patience with many things and people. But you know what? Tough...I'm too nice and let people do it to me so it's my turn back.

Exercise, as much as I aspire to it, has just been a laughable thought, something I fleetingly think of before crawling into bed while the fan blows on me, high speed. I have such grand ideas of waking early and biking before the morning sun is too hot and morning-y, but with noisy people and the heat well into the night, I don't sleep much.

To escape, I hop on our newly customized scooter (thanks to Randy for painting orange, adding pin striping and of course the new seat) and zoom out around town. Okay, yeah, sure: It's still hot, but not when the wind is blowing on your face at 40 mph. Safety is a factor, but flying around on that thing just makes you feel so free. At the end of the day, I can zoom out and all my frustrations are gone. I don't take them out on the road or other drivers, yet they simply dissolve ten minutes into the journey

We're very fortunate to have it, it's such a fun machine and it's actually been a life saver not only for sanity's sake, but for trips around town and everywhere to save so much time and gas.

Oh, and yeah: It substitutes for exercise, right?

August 9, 2008 | Archive

 

 

 

A grateful mind is both a great and happy mind.

Hey! Is it actually August already? Oh yeah: the heat is reminding me it most certainly is. I was just saying that it's not yet been too hot a summer, at least here in beautiful San Diego. I'm so sorry I spoke this out loud and ruined it for everyone. But, I'm thankful it's just happening now, especially as I work at home and with no air conditioning (as long as you don't count me opening the fridge and crawling inside it, nude, for one hour a day, as air conditioning...hey, why is there a mashed peach on my butt cheek?)

Butt seriously, time is flying by already this new month. With all the obligations the man friend and I have had, whether for fun or otherwise, where have the hours gone?

Some of my recent hours were spent with my friend Matt in his Long Beach studio photographing a new model, Matthew. As with anything a person does, I've gained much more knowledge this time around shooting with him again. Matt has been such a gracious host, letting me crash at his home (from exhaustion from learning so much), and a patient teacher. I couldn't do most of this without him. I am very thankful and grateful for everything from him, a wonderful friend.

I also couldn't do this without the blessing and support of my loving partner, Randy. He's been by my side at every turn, whether literally or figuratively, to help me grow and show me so many things not only from his photographic experience but from a general artistic view as well. It causes me so much insane happiness to have him and so many others in my life sharing this exciting hobby with me, and I am both blessed and overwhelmed with the support received from all, including each of the models I've worked with, and those who have inspired me through this process.

August 6, 2008 | Archive

 

 

Four things.

Four jobs I have had in my life: janitor, land title records examiner, graphic artist, ex-boyfriend
Movies I would watch over and over: Jaws, any Star Wars, Sordid Lives, Best Friends
Four places I have lived: Riverside, Bakersfield, Rancho Cucamonga, and San Diego, California
Four TV Shows that I watch: The Simpsons, Family Guy, Myth Busters, 30 Rock
Four places I have been: Las Vegas, NV; San Francisco, CA; Albany, NY; Honolulu, HI
Four People who regularly email me: Mom, Randy, Dave, Kevin
Four of my favorite foods: Mexican, Thai, Italian, ones that end in "amburger"
Four places I'd rather be: Hawaii, at the beach, behind the wheel of a new car, in bed with my man

August 2, 2008 | Archive